Birthday Tears

July 22, 1999

Happy Birthday to me. Yeah, purposely no exclamation mark at the end of that sentence. Today should be full of friends, fun and a party. Instead, here I am, writing in my journal – alone. No plans. No friends. Well, I guess that’s not totally true. I am having dinner tonight with my mom and a couple of her friends. Every 21-year-olds dream party.  [[Sigh]]. 

When you think back on your 21st birthday, it was probably filled with all the thing above…friends, party and yes, a toast (or a few) to the birthday girl or guy. Let’s be real, some of you can’t even remember your 21st birthday outside of pictures and iPhone videos. Cheers!

I wish the journal entry was fiction, but it’s not. My boyfriend had broken up with me a week or so before. I had recently moved away from home for my senior year of college and hadn’t gotten to know anyone yet, so I decided to go home for a few days. It would be better than celebrating by myself in my apartment. And it was, I guess. I mean I did get to eat at my favorite Mexican restaurant, best memory of the night! 

At the time, I remember feeling lost and alone, wondering when God was ever going to start making things happen for me. Little did I know , 4 weeks later, a guy would sit next to me in church, ask me to dinner and become my last first date. We were married a year later and this year – 2021 – we will celebrate our 21st anniversary. 

Are you in a season of loneliness or waiting and it feels like God’s not hearing the cries of your heart? Take courage. He is near. He hears. He is working in the quiet, moving the piece around to give you HIS best. Trust me, it’s worth the wait!

Published by @torriesorge

An encourager + storyteller, I share experiences and stories from a Mixed Race perspective to help bridge the gap. We are not invisible. God sees us and will use us for His glory.

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