Am I Invisible? Longing to be seen in a filtered society.

Do you ever feel invisible?

If we’re honest, probably each of us would admit to feeling invisible at some point in our lives.

Maybe it was a parent who never took the time to get to know you.
Maybe it was the significant other who said they loved you, but never had time for you.
Maybe it was the boss who invited you to the meeting but never acknowledged your ideas.
Maybe it was a circle of friends who talked to you, but never included you.

I know the feeling. Oh friend! I know it well…too well. As a woman AND a person of color, I’ve experienced the void of invisibility on multiple levels. One of the most impactful occurred in the spring of 2020.

God was in the middle of waking me up! I’d spent the past 30+ years denying the brown side of myself (African/Puerto Rican) and existing as only White. I would tell people I was a “White girl trapped in a Puerto Rican body”. It was the most accurate description of how I felt in my own skin. I wanted NOTHING to do with any non-white part of my ethnicity. The amount of effort I put into covering it, hiding it, erasing it (no, really I tried. It’s a really sad story I’ll share some day), was mind-boggling. As the scales were beginning to fall from my eyes, I started to see myself through a different lens. For the first time in a VERY long time, I saw my own color. It was like waking up from a 30-year coma and seeing myself for the first time.

I was petrified. I didn’t know how to process it all. “If I can see my color, so can everyone else! I don’t want to be the brown girl again. I’ve worked so hard to just be Torrie.” My mind was flooded with “what ifs” and fear. I’d become very successful at being “just Torrie”. So good in fact, that as I was coming to terms with the color of my skin, my ethnicity, my identity…very few around me even noticed. I remember one day walking with a friend and through my tears asking her, “Am I invisible?”

I remember one day walking with a friend and through my tears asking her, “Am I invisible?”

I’d worked so hard to be invisible that when I was ready to be seen, no one was ready to see me. I felt like screaming, “HELLO! I’M RIGHT HERE. DOES ANYONE SEE ME?” but I don’t think anyone would have heard me either. Funny thing about being invisible, no one sees you OR hears you. It’s like you don’t really exist.

Friend, have you ever been there? It’s a scary place to be when you realize you – the real you – doesn’t exist to other people. It can take you down to a deep, dark place. If you’re in that place today, please reach out. If you get nothing else from this post, get this – YOU MATTER.

If you get nothing else from this post, get this –
YOU MATTER.

I think we were created with 3 core needs:
1. Need for Love
2. Need to Feel Valued
3. Need for Relationship

Something special happens when you know you’re loved, when you know you’re seen and your voice matters. None of that can happen outside of healthy relationships, including a healthy relationship with yourself. Too often, we’re afraid to be seen. We don’t think our voice matters. We don’t believe we deserve to be loved. Friend, if that is you today, know this…ALL of those are lies. Jesus loves you desperately!
He came FOR YOU!
He died FOR YOU!
He conquered sin and death and the all the crap of this world FOR YOU!

In our superficial world full of social media filters, it’s easy to feel, alone and invisible. I want to encourage you today. Step out of the shadows. Step into the light of who you were created to be. You are NOT a mistake! You weren’t created to stay hidden and afraid. Living boldly doesn’t mean you have to be loud or on a stage. It means entering each day with confidence knowing you who you are and WHO’s you are!

Living boldly doesn’t mean you have to be loud or on a stage. It means entering each day with confidence knowing you who you are and WHO’s you are!

When it feels like no one sees you, stand tall.
When it feels like no one hears you, keep speaking up.
When it feels like no one values you, remember your worth and keep moving forward.

In this community you are seen. You are loved. Your voice matters.
And I’m so glad you’re here!


Want to learn more? Find additional terms & resources
in my FREE Beginner’s Guide to Racial Reconciliation.
Click to receive your copy today.

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